Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Miss Stress

::Disclaimer... My life has been some ish all June, so get ready to read::
So much has happened to me in the last 2 weeks.. Well 2 weeks ago on Tuesday, I was in a fender bender. I was driving to my client's apartment & then BOOM.. In the middle of Georgia Avenue in Silver Spring, my baby #TeamImpala crashed into the back of a green Subaru Impreza.. Well, I was so shaken up that I didn't realize that my front license plate fell off in the middle of the street, so I had to run in the middle of rush hour traffic & get my plate. But the lady that I was in the accident with was very nice and calm, meanwhile my hands were shaking while I was writing down my information, she even patted me on the back. This assured me that everything would be okay. So I called my mother & grandparents and they told me it would be okay and to call my insurance company (Allstate). The lady on the phone was very professional and compassionate and answered all my questions (I have NEVER been in an accident ever before) and the claims representative called me back and he too was professional and made me feel at ease... My back had been hurting before the accident, and the slight impact made it worst, so I went to the ER near my house. I was out in less than an hour with muscle relaxants & ibuprofen 800mg. I took one muscle relaxant that night and when I woke up and drove to work, I still felt drowsy when I was driving on 95!! #NoBueno so I decided not to take them again. I was doing much better until..
My Car #BlackThunder

I got it fixed and buffed out, I am just looking for someone to bang the dent out of the hood. Hopefully I'll get it fixed by my birthday, which is on July 22nd.


Then Monday comes along. I was in Lane Bryant, excited as all hell to be able to fit into a size 20 pants!! Yay me. So I come out of the fitting room and I guess I ran/fell into the clothing rack and I punctured my right toe, under neath. It hurt like hell and I swear I saw stars. I was bleeding like a pig in Lane Bryant and my cute flip flop got all bloodied up #NotCute. The salesperson was very nice and she brought me out gauze pads, band-aids and tissues to clean my wound up. The pain was unbearable, especially when I drove because I injured my right foot, which is the foot that I drive & break with. So pretty much all of last week I was limping because I didn't want to apply pressure to the wound. It was wide open! So under the influence of my grandparents & mother & with me being diabetic, they made me go to the ER to get taken care off. The PA (Physician's Assistant) told me that it was a callus and he pulled off the skin!!! #Ouch!! He also said that it was too deep for stitches (kinda happy about that) and suggested that I get a tetanus shot because I hadn't had one since I was an infant. My arm was still sore a week later!! My foot healed miraculously and I think I'll be able to get a pedicure next week once the scab goes away!! 
Love is an #OpenWound 

These last 2 weeks have been from hell and I have never ever felt so lonely in my life. I had no one to rub my back or my foot and I felt like crying. Besides my mother, grandparents and close friend (JB) I had no one. I know what it's like to be an only child, but this was pain. I have realized that you have no one in this world but yourself. I never want to feel that alone again, it was quite scary. 

Meh Birthday Blues always come around this time.. I'll be blogging about that very soon.

Insecurity, I'll be blogging about that too.. It's not a good thing!!!

That's all for now, as it's getting late

Peace n Blessings,

Mere

Friday, June 10, 2011

Umm.. Not So Sweet

I haven't posted in forever.....  But I'll give an update of what's been going on

Well I met my first "friend" from Tagged and his name is B. B showed problems from the beginning: he was too clingy & needy from text messages ALONE.. So I could only imagine how he would be in person, but me being a nice person, I decided to give him a try.. He had good conversation, and seemed like he was intelligent, and for those who know me, intelligence is a turn on, more than physical attraction. But here's the kicker.. He didn't have a JOB or a CAR and he had a DAUGHTER!! This should have been the red flag, but then again, I'll admit it, I was tired of being alone and by myself & there is only so much WORKING ON YOURSELF that you can do.. So I give B a chance. Well.. Our first date, we went bowling and he paid #Shocker and that was a good thing. We went to eat dinner later at Double T Diner and I paid cause I have to eat (being diabetic and all) food is kinda a priority. He didn't want to eat, but hell I did and he did end up getting a chicken sandwich. So we had a good conversation and he kept telling me that it was cute that I was shy.. I'm like really? A shy 27 year old woman is cute? But meh.. to each his own. But anyways, he texted me constantly the next day at work to the point where my clients were asking me who was that blowing up my phone... #Sad. So we kept in contact and I kept telling him that I am a person that loves to go out and he kept insisting that we go "chill" in his room (He lives with his sister, brother-in-law and their 4 children no less) and I kept telling him that I am NOT going to sit in his musty ass room & watch a movie.. #NoBueno

Fast Forward.... I came to the realization that he has more drama & problems than me and I need a whole man, not a man who is borderline 49.99%. I need someone who is able to support me (not even money wise all the time) and someone who is ABLE TO PAY FOR A MEAL!!!! So we went to Ledo Pizza and he was like because he hadn't ate all day (not my fault) that he didn't think he didn't have enough money to pay for pizza & drinks too and that we should just eat at his house in his room.. No less. I was like hell no! I didn't get my hair done earlier that day and get all dressed up (I was looking cute too) to eat pizza and a diet soda in his room!!! He didn't get that!! Now people who know me know that I'm not mean, but with this person I have to be Mean Mere and be blunt as hell!!!

The kicker was when he told me that his sister (4 kids & no job) stole his BUS FARE & he couldn't get to work (temp agency). That was the straw that broke the camel's back!! I was disgusted! This MAN didn't even have enough money to get on the bus. It was then that I realized that he didn't want to do better in life and I couldn't be with someone like that. And then the biggest issue that I had is that he always smoked weed!!! I dislike weed for personal reasons and he was always high. He told me that he has this miracle "serum" to clean his pee out if he took a urinalysis at work! The sensible option would be STOP SMOKING.. But no.. He would rather spend his last $$$ on a nickel bag and roll up like Wiz Khalifa.. Not cool.

So I told myself that I didn't even like him anymore. He brings NOTHING to the table and I feel like I'm dating a child instead of a 30 year old man!! So I'm ALONE... Again.

Well on a good note, I'm getting back into the gym. I guess I have my inspiration back (insider) and I do want to be a size smaller by my 28th birthday on July 22nd... So I officially have 44 days left to lose a pant size.. I want to get to a size 20, especially fitting Old Navy jeans!! That's my ultimate goal! I can't wait to go back and work out!! Planet Fitness here I come!!!

That's a bit all.. I say this prayer every night:
Dear Lord, please send me a whole man who loves me unconditionally!!!

Peace & Love,
Mere