28 is Sweet!!!

 Hello.. Well so much has gone on since I've posted!! Well my 28th birthday was on Friday, July 22nd and I had the best time. Me and my beautiful ladies ate dinner at Sullivan's in downtown Baltimore & the food there was amazing!!! I ordered lobster bisque, chicken with capers and I had a free slice of cheesecake for dinner and it was amazing!! I had the best time and it really felt good to be around genuine people who care for me. That is a wonderful feeling.
Food

Chicken with Capers w/ Garlic Mashed Potatoes ;)

Lobster Bisque

FREE Cheesecake!! It was amazing

We also headed over to Club Mist the PowerPlant Live! area of downtown Baltimore. I was upset because my other friend & her boyfriend could not get in based on their outfit! I was really mad, but overall I had a good time. My friends didn't really like the Baltimore crowd & music, but because it was my birthday, they stayed until it closed! That's good friends for you. It was really good to get out because I feel like I work all the time and I'm such a prude! Fun times!!

Birthday Diva!!

I'll be updating about August soon ;)

Sweet Times

So much has happened to me since I last posted. Well I found out on Wednesday that my Uncle Henry died in North Carolina, so that means that I have to take that 6-hour drive alone. My mother & grandparents in tow. It was cool because we got to stop at the Waffle House in Richmond where you can get a whole breakfast (waffle, eggs, grits, sausage, toast & hot tea for only 7.00!!!).
But before we got to Richmond to chow down, we got stuck in an invisible traffic gridlock in Northern Virginia

Traffic & my leopard print steering wheel ;)

Well as soon as we got through the traffic, I was doing 80 on Cruise Control in Black Thunder aka #TeamImpala !!! The ride down was good and I was glad to be in the car with my wonderful family. They are everything. The only bad part is that my cousin cooked a beef pot roast (I haven't eaten beef since before Thanksgiving...) and my stomach rejected it!! Pain!!! But it was good to be around my amazing cousins. 

Mere at the Waffle House ;)

 I was so glad to get to Chapel Hill... I realize that I couldn't live there because everything (of value) is 10-15 miles away and it reminded me of living down the Eastern Shore of Maryland where I went to college! Everything is spaced out!! Can you say rural!!! But I would live in a main city like Raleigh or Greensboro.  It was so peaceful to wake up to a rooster (Yes a ROOSTER) was crowing around 7:30am when I woke up. I didn't know where I was!!! But I knew I was safe!!!

Daybreak in Chapel Hill, North Carolina ;)

The funeral and the proceedings were okay. I have never seen a vault being put underground, but I guess they do things differently in the South. So the same night all of my cousins came past (I was the 2nd youngest) and all of a sudden felt young! I normally feel old, but it was a good feeling that I am still young & tender (LOL) Good times in North Carolina!!!!
I had a good healthy time with no spikes in my blood sugar because I have been taking my medicine and checking my sugar regularly. I am proud of myself! I have diabetes, but diabetes doesn't have me!!

Okay... So my 28th birthday is in 2 weeks and I always get the blues around this time. It's a time for reflections.. Well relationship wise, I have been with 2 of the most raggedyist (yeah I made a word up) negroes known to man 1. not a job 2. not a car 3. children (no bueno) 4. just stupid !!! Jesus be a fence!!! Please defend me from raggedy men!!!! #Amen.
As I turn 28, no more excuses. If you don't have the basics, then I can't be with you. Plain & Simple!!

Oh... I got braids in & they look good. I'll take a picture once they stop hurting!! Gym & swimming #Leggo !!

Peace & Love,

Mere ❤

Miss Stress

::Disclaimer... My life has been some ish all June, so get ready to read::

So much has happened to me in the last 2 weeks.. Well 2 weeks ago on Tuesday, I was in a fender bender. I was driving to my client's apartment & then BOOM.. In the middle of Georgia Avenue in Silver Spring, my baby #TeamImpala crashed into the back of a green Subaru Impreza.. Well, I was so shaken up that I didn't realize that my front license plate fell off in the middle of the street, so I had to run in the middle of rush hour traffic & get my plate. But the lady that I was in the accident with was very nice and calm, meanwhile my hands were shaking while I was writing down my information, she even patted me on the back. This assured me that everything would be okay. So I called my mother & grandparents and they told me it would be okay and to call my insurance company (Allstate). The lady on the phone was very professional and compassionate and answered all my questions (I have NEVER been in an accident ever before) and the claims representative called me back and he too was professional and made me feel at ease... My back had been hurting before the accident, and the slight impact made it worst, so I went to the ER near my house. I was out in less than an hour with muscle relaxants & ibuprofen 800mg. I took one muscle relaxant that night and when I woke up and drove to work, I still felt drowsy when I was driving on 95!! #NoBueno so I decided not to take them again. I was doing much better until..

My Car #BlackThunder

I got it fixed and buffed out, I am just looking for someone to bang the dent out of the hood. Hopefully I'll get it fixed by my birthday, which is on July 22nd.

Then Monday comes along. I was in Lane Bryant, excited as all hell to be able to fit into a size 20 pants!! Yay me. So I come out of the fitting room and I guess I ran/fell into the clothing rack and I punctured my right toe, under neath. It hurt like hell and I swear I saw stars. I was bleeding like a pig in Lane Bryant and my cute flip flop got all bloodied up #NotCute. The salesperson was very nice and she brought me out gauze pads, band-aids and tissues to clean my wound up. The pain was unbearable, especially when I drove because I injured my right foot, which is the foot that I drive & break with. So pretty much all of last week I was limping because I didn't want to apply pressure to the wound. It was wide open! So under the influence of my grandparents & mother & with me being diabetic, they made me go to the ER to get taken care off. The PA (Physician's Assistant) told me that it was a callus and he pulled off the skin!!! #Ouch!! He also said that it was too deep for stitches (kinda happy about that) and suggested that I get a tetanus shot because I hadn't had one since I was an infant. My arm was still sore a week later!! My foot healed miraculously and I think I'll be able to get a pedicure next week once the scab goes away!! 

Love is an #OpenWound

 

These last 2 weeks have been from hell and I have never ever felt so lonely in my life. I had no one to rub my back or my foot and I felt like crying. Besides my mother, grandparents and close friend (JB) I had no one. I know what it's like to be an only child, but this was pain. I have realized that you have no one in this world but yourself. I never want to feel that alone again, it was quite scary. 

Meh Birthday Blues always come around this time.. I'll be blogging about that very soon.

Insecurity, I'll be blogging about that too.. It's not a good thing!!!

That's all for now, as it's getting late

Peace n Blessings,

Mere ♥

Umm.. Not So Sweet

I haven't posted in forever.....  But I'll give an update of what's been going on

Well I met my first "friend" from Tagged and his name is B. B showed problems from the beginning: he was too clingy & needy from text messages ALONE.. So I could only imagine how he would be in person, but me being a nice person, I decided to give him a try.. He had good conversation, and seemed like he was intelligent, and for those who know me, intelligence is a turn on, more than physical attraction. But here's the kicker.. He didn't have a JOB or a CAR and he had a DAUGHTER!! This should have been the red flag, but then again, I'll admit it, I was tired of being alone and by myself & there is only so much WORKING ON YOURSELF that you can do.. So I give B a chance. Well.. Our first date, we went bowling and he paid #Shocker and that was a good thing. We went to eat dinner later at Double T Diner and I paid cause I have to eat (being diabetic and all) food is kinda a priority. He didn't want to eat, but hell I did and he did end up getting a chicken sandwich. So we had a good conversation and he kept telling me that it was cute that I was shy.. I'm like really? A shy 27 year old woman is cute? But meh.. to each his own. But anyways, he texted me constantly the next day at work to the point where my clients were asking me who was that blowing up my phone... #Sad. So we kept in contact and I kept telling him that I am a person that loves to go out and he kept insisting that we go "chill" in his room (He lives with his sister, brother-in-law and their 4 children no less) and I kept telling him that I am NOT going to sit in his musty ass room & watch a movie.. #NoBueno

Fast Forward.... I came to the realization that he has more drama & problems than me and I need a whole man, not a man who is borderline 49.99%. I need someone who is able to support me (not even money wise all the time) and someone who is ABLE TO PAY FOR A MEAL!!!! So we went to Ledo Pizza and he was like because he hadn't ate all day (not my fault) that he didn't think he didn't have enough money to pay for pizza & drinks too and that we should just eat at his house in his room.. No less. I was like hell no! I didn't get my hair done earlier that day and get all dressed up (I was looking cute too) to eat pizza and a diet soda in his room!!! He didn't get that!! Now people who know me know that I'm not mean, but with this person I have to be Mean Mere and be blunt as hell!!!

The kicker was when he told me that his sister (4 kids & no job) stole his BUS FARE & he couldn't get to work (temp agency). That was the straw that broke the camel's back!! I was disgusted! This MAN didn't even have enough money to get on the bus. It was then that I realized that he didn't want to do better in life and I couldn't be with someone like that. And then the biggest issue that I had is that he always smoked weed!!! I dislike weed for personal reasons and he was always high. He told me that he has this miracle "serum" to clean his pee out if he took a urinalysis at work! The sensible option would be STOP SMOKING.. But no.. He would rather spend his last $$$ on a nickel bag and roll up like Wiz Khalifa.. Not cool.

So I told myself that I didn't even like him anymore. He brings NOTHING to the table and I feel like I'm dating a child instead of a 30 year old man!! So I'm ALONE... Again.

Well on a good note, I'm getting back into the gym. I guess I have my inspiration back (insider) and I do want to be a size smaller by my 28th birthday on July 22nd... So I officially have 44 days left to lose a pant size.. I want to get to a size 20, especially fitting Old Navy jeans!! That's my ultimate goal! I can't wait to go back and work out!! Planet Fitness here I come!!!

That's a bit all.. I say this prayer every night:
Dear Lord, please send me a whole man who loves me unconditionally!!!

Peace & Love,

Mere ♥

Bittersweet

Well today my beautiful grandmother turned 81 years old today. She is such a beautiful woman and I would love to be half the woman that she is today. She has accepted me for who I am and has never told me anything that has steered me wrong.. 

However.. She has had conversations with her best friend, my mother, her hair dresser and even her neighbors asking them when I am going to have some children because I am getting old.. Well damn! I know that I'll be 28 in two months and the fact that my mother was married at 24 and had me at 26 isn't looking good for my case!! But on the other hand, I haven't found ANYONE that I wanted to have kids with. Now, I am not throwing shade at any of my exes.. They all have good qualities, just not father material. I don't want to have a child with someone who has to grow along with a baby.. That's not cool to me. But I really do want children, I just don't want to be a single parent, because my mother was (due to circumstances beyond our control). My mother did an amazing job raising me, by just accepting me means the most to me, but at the same time I can see how hard things were for her, which is why I was a relatively good child. I didn't act crazy, get pregnant at 16 or drop out of college........ But when my grandmother told my mother that she really wanted some great-grandkids while she was still alive really hurt me and made me open my eyes. I have such a supportive family and extended family, that even if I went out & got pregnant tomorrow I would be okay. But something is holding me back.. I don't know if it's my own fear or not. But I do want kids.. I was even thinking about IVF In vitro fertilization because I don't know anyone that I can see being connected to for LIFE with a child involved. My mother told me that if I didn't have a child by age 30, she would be open to me doing it in the IVF way and she would help with everything. Hmm.. That's a possibility. But I am keeping hope alive like Jesse Jackson.

I really do want to have a child, I just want to do it right (I'm not a control freak or anything). Like the old childhood rhyme goes "Chimere & ___ sitting in a tree.. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.. First comes love, then comes marriage then comes the baby in a baby carriage". This is old fashioned, but I am old fashioned too, which I've realized recently.  I love dinner & a movie... I love going to an art gallery & a picnic on the grass... I love an after the date kiss!!... But people have become so non-traditional in the way they live their life,  that the simple things don't come before them anymore... Ho Hum

Well. I'm still doing the Tagged thing... And some people have had jobs, cars & no kids.. So we shall see. I'm giving it another chance and being more open minded (see previous posts) into men of Baltimore.. We shall see!!

But anyways.. Happy Birthday Mama! I love you!! 81 years young!! ;)

Mere ;)

Sweetest Thing

Hey Blog World.. Nothing has been going on, just working and being unappreciated.. Which is nothing new. My life is like plain white rice, nothing spectacular, just blah!! I need to find something fun and spicy for the summer because my birthday is coming up and I refuse to spend 28 at home with my mother watching a RedBox and eating Chinese food!! #NoBueno.

Okay.. My best friend told me that I need to "compromise" when a guy that I am interested in doesn't have a car.. That's just something I can't see myself doing. I mean, it took me 6 times to get my license (I couldn't parallel park to save my life and I still can't really park.... 3 years later!!) I drive all the time at my job and it takes me 45-50 miles to get to work, depending on what route I take. And then to top it off, I am driving my clients around at work all day, so some days I drive 100+ miles... So then to have to come home, shower and pick up some grown man and take US out... Sorry honey I just can't do that!! I like being a passenger.. The feeling of relaxing in the car, while someone else drives is a good feeling! Being able to lay back instead of driving feels good!! And many of the men of Baltimore don't seem to understand this and my reluctance in not talking to them. Now I am in no position to judge anyone, but at the same time, getting around on the bus, light rail and subway must get old after a while. I know when I would come home from college and I had to walk up the hill on my street to get on the bus was NOT the business!!! But... I think that I'll be more flexible in that aspect.. BUT HE HAS TO IMPRESS ME!!! I'm a simple person to please, actually.. I am laid back but at the same time I like things to be planned out as well. I will compromise and watch a RedBox with you, but you have to let me pick the movie (LOL).
All in all I know where my bestie is coming from and I need to be more open minded and give people chances when the really need them..So I think I will ;) ♥

Well Mother's Day is coming and I don't know what to get my mother and grandmother. My grandmother is 80 and she has everything. I think I'll surprise her and send her a bouquet of flowers from ProFlowers. I may send my mother one as well. That will definitely surprise her to tears! She's so emotional, just like me ;)

So far I've been on Tagged browsing through the amazing (sarcasm) men that Baltimore has to offer. So far, I haven't really connected with anyone and I've only given my number to 2 men and it seemed like Man # 1 (age 37) was playing games and only wanted to relax at his Lodge (he's a Mason) and not spend time with me.. I sent him a text at 6pm on a Friday asking him what he was doing later and he had the nerve to ask me why? I'm like you're 37, you should know why someone wants to see you. A movie and a dinner is harmless and doesn't take much planning or money.. I mean I can eat an appetizer if you are strapped for money.. Better yet, I'll pay for my own meal! But his old ass wasn't getting the hint, so there goes another one down the drain.. Number and text messages erased!!!!
Man #2 had it all going for him.. Own car, own house, good job with benefits. Then we had the "sex" conversation and then when I told him that I was abstinent, he quickly changed and the phone calls and text messages stopped! I mean damn, does someone  have to act like a WHORE to get response from a man.. No way Jose.. I'll just have my Haagen Dazs and my $1.06 RedBox movies to keep me warm at night!! I am not compromising my values and morals just to say "I Have A Man"!!!!!

It's the freakin' wekeend and baby I wanna have some fun.. I may go out to the movies tonight. I wanna see "Jumping the Broom" and "Madea's Big Happy Family". I wish they had a double feature for cheap, but not in Baltimore!! I really just want some popcorn with the fake butter and salt... #GuiltyPleasure !

Peace n Blessings,

Mere ♥

Sweet Romance

All my life I have been reading romance novels. I remember back to when I was in high school when I would go to the public library and see if they had the new romance novels out. Most of the romance novels were so cheesy, but to a fat, shy 17 year old this was the rage!!! I used to always think that as I got older that I would have that kind of romance..... A man would come along as I was in the grocery store and sweep me off my feet (literally and figuratively) and we would drive off into the sunset together and live life happily ever!! NOT!! That did not happen!! Then when I got to college, I remember going to the library, this time while I was on summer break when I wasn't working.. I was always reading a book!! Romance novels, especially by an African American author. I even thought about writing my own novel (Since I had the bachelor's degree in English.. I mean why not?? I can edit my own book!! No need to hire someone). Then it hit me-- My own romantic life was far from a fantasy, it was cruel reality.

I've never been swept off my feet, but this has allowed me to have an unrealistic idea of romance. Reading all those books for so many years has really warped my mind when it comes to romance. Now as I get older, I see how my mind really is my worst enemy. My idea of romance is being wined and dined with a kiss on the cheek as I walk to my door. NOT having to pick the MAN up, and pay for the meal as well. I may as well date my 80 year old grandfather (And get good conversation in the process). I mean, don't get me wrong, if I have the money, I don't mind paying for the meal.. It's just that I think that the man is supposed to pay!

Talking to a cool college friend of mine (he's married with an adorable son) told me that I put too much emphasis on NOT having sex with someone that I just need to stop denying myself of carnal pleasures. He also told me that many men expect for the woman to put out after the 3rd date, or else he'll lose interest. That was kind of shock to hear, but at the same time it makes sense. I really understand what he's saying. The main reason I don't have sex is because I don't like going back to an EX and I'm not going to have random sex with some man from the internet. It is a crazy world out here and I am not going to jeopardize my health just for getting a nut.. Nope!! So I shut it down.. I know I have coochie cobwebs, but the right man will come along and blow those away (pun intended). But really, what my Black Dr. Phil told  me makes sense. He told me to put myself out there and see what happens.. Alas, that's where the shyness comes in and I'm almost 28.. Too old to be shy right?? I just can't help it. I am more of a background person, not foreground. I like doing things behind the scenes instead of being in the front row. I've always been that way. I guess it's the only child syndrome. And what man that you know wants to date a shy woman?? Oh well, that's just another thing I have to get over.

Romance me.. Wine Me.. Dine Me... You May GET Me!!

Mere♥